Fighting Follow-Up

I thought I should make a post about how we have been handling the fighting at our house. I was SO thankful for all the comments here on the blog and also on FB.

First, we have started role playing. Anytime the kids get upset at each other, I stop them and we calm down and act out again how everything should have happened. It is usually because a sibling or friend has taken a toy. So I make the offended calming ask nicely for the toy back, and the offender to give it back nicely (not throwing it at them) and say they are sorry. So far it is has worked well!

Funny story: I overheard a fight upstairs. Hannah had taken Andrew's beloved kitty cat off his bed. He was screaming for it. She calmly said, "Andrew, you must ask for it back nicely." He did and she gave it back. They are learning, now I just need to teach Hannah not to tease and take the toys in the first place!

Kids Fighting

My children. They can't live without each other. But sometimes, it feels like they can't live with each other either, at least not without fighting, hitting, and annoying each other constantly! Whew. It's enough to wear a Mama out.

I really struggle with what to do with all the fussing and arguing.

Scenario One: All three kids playing upstairs. (me downstairs trying to get something done) Andrew starts screaming and crying and pitching a fit. Hannah could have hit him, taken a toy he thought he wanted, or even just looked at him wrong.

Do I: A. Run upstairs, break it up, and spank them all for not getting along. B. Call out from downstairs for them to play nicely or they will get in trouble. C. Do nothing and let them work on resolving the issue themselves.

I have done plan A many times, but then it seems I keep getting tattles that "Andrew looked mean at me" or "Hannah took my toy!" Instead of them trying to work it out. I want them to be able to problem solve, but how early to I start training them to do this?

Scenario Two: Fussing, fighting, and arguing (at the table, watching tv, in the car, WHEREVER!)

Do I: A. Step in right away and break it up, and spank them all. B. Wait until the arguing reaches more of a climax (we all have little squabbles once in awhile right?) or C. Use words to encourage them to play nicely.

Sigh. I can feel myself getting so frustrated with it all, I want to put them in time out for the WHOLE DAY or make them play in separate rooms, eat at different times, etc. What's a mom to do?

What do you Moms of multiple children do?

Time

I hear two phrases said to me a lot.

1. "You've got your hands full!" (I do, most of the time. But I love it!)

2. "They (your children) grow up too fast! Enjoy these moments now."

I do have my hands full, but not too full. About the time my youngest get to be 9-12 months old I get a really good normal routine, am totally back to sleeping through the night, and feel like I could handle having another baby again. (this is NOT an announcement!) God planned to give Josh and I three kiddos and in His timing. He knows what I can handle and gives me grace to complete my "mommy-hood tasks" every day. I try and thank Him daily for the strength and wisdom He gives me to watch over my three precious children.

Now onto the second comment. Children DO grow, but NOT like weeds. Boy, whoever made up that never knew the weeds that live in my yard! This year/week/day will take just as long as 10 years from now. I don't loose any seconds tomorrow just because my kids are young. That being said, sometimes time does seem like to moves fast. But slow at the same time. I can't remember life without children, it seems like FOREVER or NEVER ago did we not have them. Yet, it has been just less than 4 years since we first met Hannah. I was holding Micah upstairs tonight (late because he woke up fussy) and snuggled with my cheek next to mine. Such a sweet moment. I remember at least one of those with Hannah and Andrew, savoring the sweet baby cuddle, knowing I won't be able to do it much longer. How precious.

So, while time can SEEM to fly while you're having fun. Take in a few moments to enjoy these cute pictures...

Josh camera editing this Andrew sticky face picture! From either chocolate ice cream or pudding. That kid loves his food!!

Crazy Micah face from Christmas. I need to take some pictures and videos of him cruising around. That boy is on the move and will be taking his first independent steps very soon!!

Hannah and Andrew at the New Years Eve celebrating at church.

The last good snowfall we had. Hannah and Andrew both LOVE the snow...

But Hannah was the only one who wanted to make snow angels!! :)